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They won’t defend you, they don’t defend themselves

When I was a kid in Hebrew day school, I enjoyed going to the synagogue services for kids, that were led by kids. Then my parents attended service too. It was to the point that my father met a bunch of synagogue insiders and was invited to the special club, called the Kaddish Club, which meant you had one dead parent that you could say the Kaddish memorial prayer. What was great about it was their own special Kiddush meal after services ended.

My father quit in a huff because another member criticized his role as a membership director and was upset that none of his friends spoke in his defense. The other member never criticized my father by name and my father wasn’t the only membership director. Most importantly, he didn’t speak up in his defense if he thought the criticism was directed at him.

Years ago, I left a third-party administrator (TPA) to join a law firm. If you’ve read my books, you’ll know it was not amicable and we all took things personally. Let us just say that TPA no longer exists. None of my former co-workers spoke in my defense. I wasn’t upset by that because they never spoke up in their defense when they were mistreated by the guy running the place.

There may be people that criticize you and no one may defend you, but you should defend yourself. You can’t expect people who are. Passive to speak in your defense when they don’t speak in their own defense.

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