Social media and living in a house full of narcissists have educated me on navigating personalities and spotting insecurities from a distance.
I always said I used to think I lived in a normal place until I ventured into the local community groups and deal with the morons in the community. What I realized over time is that I created something called the “Mirsky Theory,” the idea that what you see is a lot of narcissism and insecurities in people online. What you see in a community group is not an accurate representation of the community because most people aren’t on Facebook, and a smaller minority of that, actually partake in the community groups. For those who partake in the groups, most just read the posts and comments without commenting on themselves.
We had someone who created one of the first community Facebook groups and he thought he was a star. He was just really a failed businessman who wanted to parlay his “fame” into some patronage job that he eventually lost because he wouldn’t campaign for a Sanitation commissioner candidate. The dummy didn’t know the function of a patronage job, you’re not hired for being smart or having a great personality. Now he’s cleaning grills and fences for a living.
So much of what you see in these groups are people who want validation of their feelings because they want you to know about a bad experience they had at a local business. Mind you, they never complain to the local business directly, they just need to bash them online. There is another set of people who just want free stuff. I’m waiting for someone to ask in one of the community groups on whether someone has a free car to give away. Then there is the group of people who need to put down people in the comments. This reeks of insecurity and the people who love to attack others are just flaunting their insecurity, they feel that by bashing others, they are making themselves higher in some way. Much like the people at work who would throw you under a bus in their idea of getting themselves ahead. These narcissists come in all shapes and sizes, some are just absolute failures in life and some have successful careers. One of these Facebook bullies got elected to a political position and then was ousted when all his bigoted Facebook posts came to life.
I just have never been threatened by someone else’s opinion and I get no joy from belittling others. But I’ve come to the point that I can no longer post in these groups and I could no longer comment because nothing good can come of it.
