Brainwashing is the idea that the human mind can be changed or controlled against a person’s will by manipulative psychological techniques. It’s an idea that is debatable on whether it can be accomplished.
The older I get, the more I realize how abusive my parents were. I’m not talking about physical abuse, I think I might have been physically hit by them 1-2 times. I’m talking about psychological abuse. When you’re a kid or you have always lived at home, you think what you have is a normal life until you get older and see what other people have. My parents were only as supportive as I did what they said, I had to do.
When I graduated finally from school in 1998, I got my first job as an ERISA attorney, making $35,000 to start. To save money, I lived at home. That is probably one of the biggest regrets of my life. Sure I saved money, but the abuse only worsened. The abuse worsened because I was out in the world, working with people, and realizing that my parents weren’t normal people. Whether it was being the children of Holocaust survivors or not being born in this country, there was something of them. They would say truly bad things about relatives behind their backs, yet defend them when I criticized them. Especially the weird relationship between my younger aunt Suzy and my Aunt Judy. My Aunt Judy and Uncle Harry volunteered to help Suzy and her then-husband Mark in business because Mark had no education and was kind of a failure in everything they did. While Harry could have helped Mark open any business, Harry saw dollar signs and partnered with a couple to open indoor amusement parks in Langhorne, PA, Middletown, NY, and take over a failing operation in Union, NJ. When Suzy had a daughter, Judy and Harry insisted they should be called Grandma and Grandpa. The only problem is they were the Great Aunt and Great Uncle, and my grandmother was still alive. My parents would talk badly about Judy and Harry with the idea that they thought they could buy this title with money, but didn’t dare to confront them. Neither did I and Suzy was OK with it, because Suzy was afraid to say boo to anyone, especially if they were financially supporting them. I saw it a mile away, but Harry was a lousy businessman, and the people he was in business with, weren’t trustworthy. The indoor parks all failed, even the one down the road from Sesame Place. Harry and Judy blamed Mark, and unwisely, I defended Mark. When Judy’s daughter got married, Suzy and Mark weren’t invited. I was outraged because it was wrong. I told my parents that while I’d attend the wedding, I wouldn’t attend the little party that Judy and Harry were throwing the night before. They agreed until the day before the party and the bullying by my parents started. I was told that Mark was brainwashing me, they said a recently passed family friend said I was stubborn, and that no one would ever love me. As a beaten dog, I gave in. Then, at the time, I realized that my parents were not honest people.
Not too long after, I met my wife. My wife is very headstrong and very smart, and she wasn’t blinded like I was when it came to my parents. My wife was always respectful of my parents until they were threatened by her independence. They couldn’t control her or think they could control her, like they did with my sister’s boyfriend, and later, husband. So anytime there was some sort of difference of opinion or disagreement, it was my wife who was accused of being brainwashed. I don’t know about you, but when I’m being accused of being brainwashed, I feel they’re challenging my intelligence. I wasn’t being brainwashed by anyone, including my then Uncle Mark. I just had a difference of opinion that challenged my insecure parents, who were just using that as a form of gaslighting.
