When I first thought about Oceanside, I figured there was at least one village idiot—statistically, every town gets one. It’s practically a zoning requirement. But then I did something brave. Something foolish. Something I wouldn’t recommend to even my worst fiduciary violator.
I joined the Oceanside, NY Facebook community groups.
And friends, let me tell you: we’re way past “village idiot.” We’re talking village idiots, plural. A whole idiot co-op. It’s like someone put a clown car on Sunrise Highway, and the only requirement to drive it is a complete lack of self-awareness and a keyboard.
Now, I’ll be fair—sometimes, it’s entertaining. Like a low-budget reality show where everyone’s off their meds and thinks they’re the mayor. You’ve got:
· The local conspiracy theorist where everything is Biden or Trump’s fault.
· The angry mom who thinks middle school lunches are a federal crime.
· The guy who posts blurry photos of “suspicious teens” that turn out to be… actual teens.
· And of course, the weekly “WHO IS BLASTING MUSIC AT 2AM?!?” thread—spoiler: it’s always your kid.
But what really elevates these groups is the human cockfighting. Someone posts about a pothole, and suddenly we’re in round 3 of a bare-knuckle brawl about vaccines, drag queens, and whether bagels were better in 1987. It’s like Thunderdome with profile pics.
And the oversharing? Legendary. I now know the marital status, prescription regimen, and cat food preferences of at least a dozen total strangers. One woman posted about her gallbladder surgery and asked for a landscaper in the same paragraph. That’s talent.
Look, I love Oceanside. I live here, I work here, and I’ve probably driven behind some of these keyboard gladiators on Long Beach Road. But these groups remind me why fiduciary committee meetings have rules, Roberts or otherwise. Because if you leave people to their own devices with no structure and no filter, you don’t get dialogue—you get digital Lord of the Flies.
So here’s my unsolicited advice:
1. Lurk, don’t engage. You’re not changing minds. You’re just stepping into the digital Coliseum.
2. Mute generously. Your mental health will thank you.
3. If someone starts a thread with “Not to be political, but…”—run. That’s a trap. It’s always political.
4. Save your sanity for real fights. Like recordkeeper RFPs. Or teenagers with car stereos from 1996.
I joined the group for local recommendations. I stayed for the sociology experiment. And I left with a renewed appreciation for mute buttons and moderated comment sections.
Stay safe out there, Oceanside. And please—for the love of all things sacred—stop posting about your neighbor’s trash cans.
