In this business—the retirement plan business, the ERISA world—you don’t build anything alone. You might draft the documents, run the meetings, fix the failures, and chase the clients, but if you’re lucky, a few people walk the road with you. Some give you a push when you’re stuck. Others hand you a brick when you’re building. And some? Well, some just stand by the side and watch. Or worse—they pretend they’re helping while quietly betting against you. You don’t forget any of them.
When I think back to the early days of my ERISA practice, it’s not just a blur of plan restatements and prototype documents. It’s people. People who returned my calls when no one else would. People who referred business to me not because they had to, but because they believed I knew what I was doing—or at least, would figure it out. Some of them are still in my life. A few aren’t. But I remember all of them.
There was a TPA who took a chance on me before I had a name. Before the blog, before the speaking gigs, before the law firm had any traction. They gave me a referral when I was still moonlighting and hustling, working nights and weekends to get my solo practice off the ground. I didn’t ask them to take a risk. They just did. That kind of loyalty stays with you.
Then there were the plan sponsors—small business owners mostly—who didn’t care that I wasn’t at a big law firm anymore. They wanted someone who would return their calls, who actually understood how 401(k) plans worked in practice, not just on paper. I built my firm on clients like that. People who didn’t need a slick PowerPoint, just honest advice and someone who wouldn’t disappear after the retainer check cleared.
Of course, not everyone was supportive. Some smiled to my face while warning others not to work with me. There were advisors I’d worked alongside for years who suddenly couldn’t find the time to grab coffee. Industry colleagues who vanished the moment I wasn’t “useful” to them anymore. They’re the same ones who later reached out when I had a following and a platform. The thing is, you can always tell who’s there for the work and who’s there for the spotlight.
You learn, fast, who’s on your side. Not when things are easy, but when the client is angry, the plan is broken, and the DOL is breathing down your neck. Those are the moments that separate the real partners from the fair-weather ones. I’ve had people step up for me in those moments. I’ve also had people disappear. You don’t chase the ones who leave. You just remember.
I’ve never needed a large crowd—just a loyal few. The ones who showed up when it wasn’t convenient. The ones who didn’t need to be asked twice. The ones who believed in me when all I had was a laptop, a home office, and a belief that doing the right thing still mattered in this industry.
You never forget who was there. And you especially never forget who wasn’t
